NO, THIS IS NOT A "TRIAL" FROM GOD. THIS IS CALLED 'ABUSE', PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

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No, this is not a "trial" from God. 
This is called 'abuse', plain and simple.





While you are struggling in utter desperation and confusion as you do not understand what has happened to you and within you, you might have consulted your "elders" - or whatever name the "most experient" members of your "church" have -, and, most likely, you have been told some of the most common "religious jargons" to silence you and make you suck the abuse in. We are going to cover some of them and see why they are nothing but lies that we have to deprogram from our minds so that the healing can actually begin.
  1. "You are in a trial."
  2. "Your faith is being tested by God."
  3. "Forgive and forget", it's scriptural."
  4. "You cannot feel anger, it's not scriptural"
  5. "You are crazy."
  6. "You are childish / not spiritually mature".
  7. “You are rebellious”.
  8. "Your faith is weak."
  9. "You have been cursed".
  10. "You are demonized / possessed / under spiritual attack/ in a spiritual warfare."
  • Sounds familiar? Yes. Basically, these are the standard "expressions" used in "church" contexts to put the blame ON you for whatever horrible things they did TO you. They are nothing but manipulative strategies to silence you and make you feel guilty for having perfect normal reactions to the abnormal amount of heinous abuse they made you go through in - and out of - the "church".

  • Most of these statements imply that the atrocious abuse inflicted on you by the abusive “church” had God as "an accomplice". This is one of the ultimate blasphemies ever. God had absolutely nothing to do with the abominations you have been through in the "church" that led you to your current deplorable state. But rest assure that God will have a major role in your healing.

  • Parroting "forgive and forget", reproaching the victim for being "angry" or calling them "bitter" are extremely common tactics of invalidation and minimization of abuse in the "church". These manipulative strategies also attempt to make the victims feel guilty and confused about their legitimate hurt feelings during and after the abuse (check Rightfully angry). These tactics inflicted by the perpetrators and their enablers aim at silencing the victims and leaving them hopeless while the abusers escape from any real accountability for their heinous actions.

  • By now, you have probably been bombarded with all sorts of "religious" hypocrisies to make the abuse look more like "part of your Christian path". Well, it all comes down to the simple principle “do to others what you would have them do to you”. Would you do to them what they did to you? Probably not. My point is God had absolutely nothing to do with the reprehensible behavior of the perpetrators. It may sound obvious, but while you are being brainwashed with the lies listed above, you are also being fed with "religious excuses" for the abuse, and it will only cause further damage to your mind and soul. Most likely, you may well be suffering from cognitive dissonance by trying to reconcile the concept of “pastors” that are supposed to be taking care of the sheep and their abusive behavior towards you.
It is very important for us to have these concepts in mind, because if we somehow continue to absorb the fallacies of the perpetrators, we are never going to deal with the problem of abuse in a realistic way, therefore, hindering any chances of healing. We have to deprogram our minds from all the delusional “make-believe world”/”religion” invented by the abusive “pastor” and endorsed by his followers.

So many wonderful people have taken their own lives due to the insurmountable symptoms of CPTSD. Some have become agnostics, and many others ended up giving up on God due to the misleading conclusion that He was somehow responsible for the abominations in the "church".

It is sickening to think of how many disordered individuals are out there “running churches" while pretending to be "good" in public. Aside from blatant cases of abuse such as pedophilia in the "church", most people have no idea of how much psychological, verbal and emotional abuse - which are as destructive as - are going on in the "church".

Further recommended resources:

  • In this extremely interesting and compassionate lecture for caregivers of victims of abuse and trauma, Dr. Diane Langberg reconciles Christianity and the unbearable feelings of pain and suffering that victims of abuse and trauma go through. I totally recommend the whole video, but you can watch from 42:35 on. Watch the video here.

  • Concerning abuse of authority in the church, check Dr. Diane Langbergs's interview here.

 narcissisticabuseinthechurch.blogspot.com

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